


Not Without a Fight

by BlueSpiritsLight



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Al angst, Al is a ghost, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brotherly Love, Ed Angst, F/M, Ghost!Al, Grief/Mourning, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Temporary Character Death, this does NOT start out happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23630434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSpiritsLight/pseuds/BlueSpiritsLight
Summary: They knew that this was a possibility. Barry had brought up valid worries, but they thought they would have more time. Ed had known there was a chance that he wouldn't succeed, that Al would die, or he would die, or they would both die. He just refused to believe that it could happen like this. He couldn't fail his little brother, not again.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric, Edward Elric & Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric & Winry Rockbell, Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell
Comments: 15
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

_“Give him back!”_

Ed fell to his knees, ignoring the twinge of pain that shot up his right thigh from the impact. He couldn’t feel the ground beneath him or hear the voices from those around him, not when his world was gone. While his heart was still beating, his life had ended minutes ago, when those red soul-fire eyes had faded.

_“He’s my brother! Take my arm, take my leg, anything! You can have it!”_

They had known this was a possibility for a few days now, but Ed hadn’t thought it would happen this soon. He had thought there would be some warning signs, Al feeling weak or falling unconscious. Not…. Not this.

_“Just give him back! He’s my little brother, he’s all I have left!”_

They were walking through the crowded streets, looking for some souvenirs for Winry to take back to Rush Valley when suddenly Al had frozen, mid-step. Ed turned in confusion, a question already half asked when he saw the light in his brother's eyes begin to fade. Al’s helmet shook for a moment, as if he was trying to move or say something, but then the lights went out and Ed could only watch in horrified shock as the empty suit of armor crashed to the ground.

The helmet tumbled away from the pile of cold metal to come to rest at his feet, it’s empty eyes glaring up at him. He knew, deep down, exactly what had just happened, but he couldn’t believe it, not yet. He scrambled around to the open neck to see the blood seal that had been his little brother's life-line slowly crumbling to dust. With hasty, panicked movements, he pressed his palm to the bloody mark, desperately trying to keep the seal intact. He tried to transmute, reaching for something, anything. He would give up his other arm, his other leg. Hell… he’d give up his own life. He couldn’t fail his little brother. He couldn’t. He lifted his palm and had to bite back a sob as he saw the white glove he wore stained brown and the armor below where it had been pressed was completely clean, as if it hadn’t just killed his little brother.

With a surge of desperation, he transmuted his auto-mail arm into a knife, determined to make a new seal before his brother was lost forever. He was about to swing when suddenly his muscles seemed to lock up and he felt like he was fighting _himself_. As if his own body was fighting back to keep him from doing what he desperately needed to do. It didn’t last long, but right as he could move again, a warm body slammed into him, pushing between his arms to get in the way. He tried to lean back, to move around them so he could save his brother. He was running out of time!

He finally registered the long blonde hair, and desperate blue eyes. Winry was crying but she had a steely determination in her eyes as she held each of his wrists , keeping him from moving the sharp blade towards himself.

“Ed stop! Al didn’t want you to do this! He knew this was a possibility, but he didn’t want you to suffer any more because of him.” Ed struggled for a few seconds more before her words fully sank in. His arms trembled slightly before his shoulders slumped and he felt himself break. There was nobody here to fight. Nobody here to blame, except himself. He knew that there was nothing he could do this time. He dimly felt Winry release her grip on his wrists before gently pulling him forward and hugging him tightly. He buried his face into her shoulder and clung to her, feeling her begin to shake but not being able to even cry himself. He just felt numb. People had gathered around them, watching the events unfold in shocked silence. Nobody noticed the lone car that pulled to a stop behind them all. What they did notice, however, was the blonde woman in a military uniform forcing her way through the throng and they parted to allow her passage to the crumbling teens.

Ed felt broken as he sat there, staring blankly ahead in disbelief as Winry sobbed in his arms. He could only hold her tightly and hope that he was wrong. This was a nightmare. Any moment now he would wake with a sharp gasp, soaked in sweat, and turn to see the armor watching him with concern from across the room. A familiar blue jacket appeared around Winry and in turn covered his shoulders, closely followed by a warm hand on his back. Unlike last time, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Hawkeye, and he knew that’s who it was. This time he was broken beyond repair and he couldn’t bear to see the grief in her eyes to confirm what he was denying. The next hour or so passed in a blur, and next thing he knew he was in Winry’s hotel room, huddled on the couch under a warm blanket with a warm drink in his hands. Winry was leaning heavily against his side, her eyes reflecting the same emptiness that he felt so deeply. 

“Why did you stop me?”

Her gaze turned to him and she blinked in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath before he spoke.  
  
“I might have been able to bring him back.”

There was a flurry of movement next to him and his eyes opened in shock at the stinging pain across his cheek. He spun around to stare at Winry in shock as she looked at her own hand in confusion. He raised his hand and covered his swiftly reddening cheek but couldn’t bring himself to react any further. She seemed to shake off the shock as she glared at him, her eyes lacking some of that fire that usually blazed in their depths. 

“Didn’t you ever think about how Al felt? He couldn’t bear the thought of you sacrificing yourself to bring him back. What kind of life do you think he would be able to live, knowing his brother has sacrificed his own life to bring him back. He… He made me promise that I would stop you.”

She choked slightly on her tears, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching for her and resting his hand on her arm comfortingly. She took a few shuddering breaths before managing to continue.

“Trust me, I want him here with us too, but I can’t let you do something so drastic knowing that Al would suffer.” 

Ed could feel a strange warmth behind him, almost as if someone was about to rest their hands on his shoulders, but when he turned to look, there was nothing there. He shook it off as a trick of his mind, wishful thinking. He wasn’t the best at dealing with emotions, but when he pulled a sobbing Winry into his arms, he felt like he had done something right. She buried her face into his shoulder and clung to him as she sobbed, and he held on just as tightly, as if he could hold together his broken pieces. 

He had no idea what he was going to do now. His whole life he had been working towards one goal. To get Al his body back. Now he had no way of knowing if Al’s soul had reunited with his body and was waiting for him in the gate, or if he was gone for good. He had to believe that Al was fighting to stay with them. There was no way Al would give up without a fight. There had to be a way to get him back.

Now that he was a little more aware of his surroundings, he could hear someone shuffling around behind the couch he and Winry were huddled on, and he turned to see Hawkeye sitting on a chair and shuffling through reports with a familiar helmet resting on the table next to her. Though she was attempting to look put together, her eyes weren’t moving like she was actually reading them. She seemed like she was just trying to keep herself occupied rather than actually get any work done. He could see a lack of something in her eyes and realized that she was grieving, just like he was.Al had meant something to a lot of people, Ed knew that.That realization filled him with even more determination to find out if he could still save Al. It wasn’t just for him now, it was for everyone who had ever loved his little brother.

Ed gently released Winry’s grip on his cloak and slid out from under the blanket, waving off her confused question and concerned look. He opened his suitcase and pulled out some of his notes, looking over them frantically for anything that could bring back his little brother. He couldn’t be gone. He just couldn’t. There were pages after pages of transmutation circles and notes that didn’t give him a single thing to work with. The transmutation circle he had originally used to bind Al’s soul to the armor wouldn’t work in this situation, even if Winry would let him do it. Al’s soul had been gone for too long and the armor had already rejected it. Maybe he could try binding it to something else? But what? He couldn’t force Al to possibly spend years trapped as an inanimate object. He tossed the notebook he was leafing through aside and pulled out another, only to throw that aside as well when it proved useless to him.

“Dammit! These stupid notes. There’s nothing here I can use!” He growled as he dug through the neatly organized notes, not caring as loose pages were scattered on the ground around him. He would have kept going if not for the hand that pulled him back from the suitcase, forcing him to stop and take a breath. 

He pulled out of their grip and tried to move towards the notes again, but they just latched onto him again and pulled him away forcefully. He grit his teeth and had to bite back a frustrated sound as he felt pressure begin to build behind his eyes. He was so frustrated and angry, he wanted to scream. He wanted to punch something and make it feel that pain that he felt now. He wanted to cry and sob and curl up into a ball. His head was a jumble of emotions and his heart just couldn’t take it. He felt so broken. He needed Al. He needed his other half. With a choked sob, he realized that, besides his good-for-nothing father that might as well be dead, Ed was the last living member of his family. He was finally well and truly alone. He bit back his sobs and fought to stop himself from trembling from the turmoil of emotions in his mind as he brushed the hands from his shoulders and began silently picking up the scattered papers. He felt numb again as he put them into neat stacks and fit them back in his suitcase with his notebooks, closing it with a click. He took another deep breath, pushing his emotions down until he was back in his room and he could finally let go.

“I’m going to my room.”

He ignored Winry’s quiet plea for him to stay and stepped out through the door, closing it quietly behind him before shuffling over to the room next door and fiddling with the key to open it up. When it swung open, Ed instantly saw the two beds, one still a little crumpled from him actually using it, and the other perfectly made. Why wouldn’t it be. Not like Al needed it. The second the door swung shut, his suitcase slipped from his grasp and he followed it to the floor. There was no point in standing anymore. There was nobody here for him to look strong for. He knew he should probably at least get to the bed, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. 

It felt like he was bursting when he finally let himself break, sobs clawing their way out of him. He clenched his teeth tightly, trying to muffle the sobs so they couldn’t hear him from next door. Tears flooded down his cheeks and he dropped his head to the floor, curling in on himself as he pulled his cloak tighter around his shoulders.

He didn’t know how long he lay there, but eventually he couldn’t cry anymore and his throat was raw. He pushed himself towards the wall until he could prop himself up against it, resting his head on his knees and struggling to breath normally. His chest ached and his head pounded, but eventually, his breathing calmed and he was overwhelmed with exhaustion. He didn’t bother to keep his eyes open, and eventually, he faded into a restless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Even though Al remembered what he had seen during the failed human transmutation that had claimed his body, it was as if he had watched someone else experience it. It hadn’t really seemed real. 

Now though, as he stood in the endless expanse of white, it was all too real. One moment he had been standing slightly behind Ed and Winry as they browsed the shops of Central city, and next he was nearly blinded by the sudden onslaught of white. He stumbled in surprise as he looked around the hauntingly familiar surroundings of truth’s realm. A laugh behind him drew his attention and he turned to see the strange blank entity sitting down casually, his brother's limbs providing a stark contrast to the colorless world.

“Well, looks like you ran out of time in that armor. While I would love to keep you here and see what your brother would do, our deal is still in effect.” Truth raised Ed’s arm to demonstrate their point, but Al still didn’t understand.

“So you’re going to send me back to the armor?” 

Truth laughed at the question but shook their head. “No. The armor would not accept your soul a second time. Anyway, your brother only specified that I give you back, not what form you had to be in. He chose to bind you to the armor.” Al heard a sound behind him and turned to see a massive stone gate, _his_ gate, swinging open, the numerous black hands darting out, reaching for him. 

“We have wasted enough time. Farewell.”

Al wasn’t planning on fighting the hands, but he gasped when he saw his gauntlet begin to dissolve where they touched it. He let out a shout of surprise and panic, but it was too late and he couldn’t free himself from their destructive grasp. He could only catch a brief glimpse of an arm before his vision went completely black. He felt himself falling for a few seconds before he landed on his back on what felt like concrete. He put his hand on the ground to push himself up into a sitting position before he froze. He could _feel_. Not just pressure, but he could feel the rough surface, the slight warmth from it being in the sun all day. He raised his other hand and held it in front of himself and nearly cried when he saw a flesh and blood hand. 

“Brother! I- I have my body back!” He whipped his head around, looking for his brother so they could celebrate, but instantly, his good mood was crushed by the sight that waited for him. He watched as Ed stumbled forward towards the empty suit of armor that had housed his soul until now, grief and disbelief clear on his face. Al pushed himself up and ran towards him, nearly slamming into him in his haste. He knelt next to where Ed had fallen to his knees and was desperately trying to save the blood seal, reaching to grasp his older brother's shoulder.

He felt a sharp chill throughout his whole body as his hand passed right through. He tried again with the same result, then he tried talking, pleading, shouting, but nothing worked. He could only watch, invisible and useless as his older brother fought back sobs. He felt a thrill of fear when Ed suddenly sat up and transmuted his automail arm. He knew instantly what his brother was about to do and he moved without thinking. He dove forward as if to tackle Ed to the ground, too scared to realize it probably wouldn’t work. He was surprised to find that the unpleasant feeling didn’t return. His perspective had changed, and now it was as if he was looking through his brother's eyes. As Ed moved to swing, Al felt as if his own arms were moving and he subconsciously tried to move them apart, his mind screaming at him to NOT impale himself.

He was shocked when Ed’s arms actually did stop, and Al struggled to keep him from finishing the movement. His success was short lived though as he felt himself sharply thrown back onto the sidewalk.

“Brother, no!” He scrambled into a sitting position, prepared to see the worst, but he was relieved to see that Winry had caught both his brother’s wrists and she was currently keeping him from doing anything reckless. Despite his slight success, there was nothing he could do as he watched Ed and Winry breaking down, believing that he was gone. No amount of hovering or reassurance could be heard or felt and he could feel his frustration building.

If Hawkeye hadn’t shown up when she did, he might have tried doing whatever he had done again, just to get some kind of reaction. Instead, he silently followed the small group as Hawkeye led them to her car, pausing to grab his helmet and order some other military personnel to take the rest of the armor back to Mustang's office. He only gave the empty metal suit a glance before he turned his back on it. Instead, he focused his attention on trying to get into the Lieutenant’s car. He hesitantly reached for the door, expecting to feel cold metal against his palm, but instead, there was a slight chill and his hand was gone. So he could pass through some things, like people and cars, but not the ground. He stepped through the closed car door, not sure if he should expect to fall through the seat or not, but he breathed a sigh of relief when it supported his weight. It felt odd though, hard and unyielding as if he was sitting on a rock instead of a cushioned car seat. He didn’t really care, instead, he turned and watched as Winry and Hawkeye guided Ed into the back seat.

Al had never seen his brother like this before. His eyes were unfocused and his movements were stiff and seemed forced. He looked broken, almost like he had after the failed transmutation. Something was different this time. The fire that had burned in his brother’s soul for as long as Al could remember was gone. Winry climbed into the car and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly. Her eyes looked different as well, shadowed and haunted, but she still had some of that determination and strength that Al had always come to associate with her. It made sense, she still had to take care of Ed after all. In the relative silence and stillness of the car, Al could finally begin to process what had happened to him. He took a deep breath and marveled at the feeling of having _lungs_ and the feeling of his chest expanding was so ingrained yet it felt so new. In a different situation, he would have been ecstatic at having some form of his body back. Instead, it was bittersweet as he was forced to watch his family and friends mourn his death without being able to do anything to help. He sighed heavily and slumped in the seat, wallowing in his feeling of utter uselessness and trying to get a hold on his growing frustration. He wanted nothing more than to tackle his brother in a hug, finally able to feel his warmth after years of not being able to feel anything, but he couldn’t even do that.

He was startled out of his thoughts when the car stopped and he looked around to see they were at the military hotel. He phased through the closed car door and hovered by his brother’s side as the small group shuffled into the hotel and silently made their way up the stairs.

Ed didn’t seem to notice as they passed his room and went into Winry’s, and he didn’t even react to the warm tea that was handed to him. Al could see him trembling slightly and he felt his heart breaking at the sight. He sat cautiously on the couch next to Ed and leaned as close as he dared, wanting desperately to feel his warmth and to provide some comfort to his grieving brother, but the dead couldn’t comfort the living over their loss.

Al did nothing as Ed finally seemed to snap out of his trance and began talking to Winry, but when the talk began to take a turn that he didn’t like, he stood quickly and knelt in front of his brother, having to resist the urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him. Instead, he did the only thing he could. He was less surprised by the perspective change this time, and he quickly did the first thing he could think of to snap his brother out of the downward spiral. He ‘possessed’ Winry and slapped him, straight across the face. Winry’s surprise caused him to be violently thrown out again, but at least this time he was expecting it and he managed to land on his feet. He did feel slightly guilty, but he pushed it aside when Ed seemed to be a bit more present. Al wished he could say something, anything to convince his brother that it wasn’t his fault, and that he was still here. Luckily, Winry beat him to it.

“Didn’t you ever think about how Al felt? He couldn’t bear the thought of you sacrificing yourself to bring him back. What kind of life do you think he would be able to live, knowing his brother has sacrificed his own life to bring him back. He… He made me promise that I would stop you.”

He smiled, despite the sad atmosphere, thankful that Winry was here. If it had just been Ed, things would have gone very differently. He hovered behind his brother, hands resting on his shoulders even though Ed couldn’t feel it. For one, nobody would have been there to stop his older brother from seriously injuring himself to try and ‘bring him back’ and Ed could have actually died. Al wouldn’t put it past big brother to do something stupid like sacrifice himself to bring him back. He was drawn out of his morbid thoughts by Ed suddenly getting up and stumbling towards his suitcase that Hawkeye had retrieved from his room. 

“Brother? What are you doing?” Al knew Ed wouldn’t respond, but it was comforting to talk anyway, and it’s not like anyone could hear him to make fun of him. He knelt next to Ed and watched with a concerned frown as he began tossing all his notes out and sorting through them. He caught glimpses of transmutation circles and felt a thrill of fear as he tried to figure out what he was planning. Evidently, neither did Ed, as his movements grew more and more frantic and after a few seconds Al couldn’t take it anymore.

He reached out, wanting to pull Ed back, and he was surprised when his hand felt a warm shoulder instead of going right through. His older brother didn’t seem to notice anything weird about his hand as he just pulled out of his grip and tried to reach for the notes again. Taking advantage of his new found solidness, Al pulled him back again with both hands only to feel his own heart break when he noticed Ed was trembling and he could hear the ragged breaths that showed how close Ed was to breaking down. 

Maybe the contact helped, or maybe Ed was unwilling to break down with Hawkeye and Winry able to see. It didn’t matter. He could only watch uselessly as his brother robotically began to pick up all the scattered papers and return them to their spot before slowly rising to his feet, dragging his suitcase with him. Al gasped in pain as Ed suddenly turned and walked straight through him and he grasped his chest and the uncomfortable cold that came with it. The older Elric didn't even react as he passed through his little brother and moved towards the door, muttering something as he left that Al was too shaken to hear. The click of the door forced him to get over himself and hurry after his brother, barely hearing Hawkeye stop Winry from doing the same.

He caught up right as Ed walked through the door to their hotel room and watched in horror as he collapsed to his knees and was wracked with sobs. He tried to rest his hand on Ed’s back but nearly whined in despair as it passed through. He knelt next to his brother, tears rolling down his face as he could only watch the strongest person he has ever known finally break.

“Please! Let me help him! Let me talk to him! I can’t… I can’t do this anymore…” Al couldn’t just sit there and watch as his brother suffered. Ed wouldn’t want him to see this. He dragged himself to his feet and sat on the undisturbed bed, trying to block out the muffled and broken sobs coming from the crumpled form on the floor in front of the hotel door. He clenched his fists and stared down at the ground, silently seething at Truth. Normally he was the calm one, he never really had a chance to get mad because Ed or Winry would always explode first. But now, he was _pissed._ How _dare_ Truth do this. Give him this chance but make it torture to remain in his loved ones presence as he watched them mourn his death.

He was 14! He should be playing all day with his brother, telling stupid jokes and talking about whatever they thought was funny that day, not watching his older brother mourning alone in a hotel room as a ghost wallowing in self-pity on the bed. 

He heard shuffling by the door and looked up to see Ed pulling himself up to curl into himself against the wall. The sobs had finally faded away and now were replaced with harsh breathing, and even that began to even out. Al hesitantly approached his brother and sat next to him, trying to see his face to tell if he was asleep or not. Deciding Ed was suitably unconscious, Al hesitantly reached out to test if he could actually touch him or not. He felt warmth under his hand and breathed a sigh of relief. He debated between making him more comfortable where he was or trying to move him to the bed, but ended up deciding to just make sure he didn’t wake up with a sore neck. He took the blankets from the unused bed and a pillow before heading back over to his brother.

He tossed the blanket around Ed’s shoulders, but as he was tucking them in, Ed began to lean towards him and soon enough he was using Al’s leg as a pillow. Al felt a sad smile on his face as he tossed the actual pillow aside and merely tucked the blanket more around his older brother. He would take full advantage of this moment, when he could finally feel Ed’s warmth. 

He gently began to loosen Ed’s braid, knowing he hated the feeling of sleeping with it in, but once his hair was loose Al just kept running his fingers through it, marveling at the feeling of the soft strands. It would take awhile for him to get used to feeling again, and the fact that he could touch his brother gave him hope that maybe he would be able to show him that he was still there and they could get back to the way things were. It wasn’t perfect, and it was definitely difficult at times, but at least they were together.


	3. Chapter 3

He found himself surrounded by a familiar darkness, a glowing light off in the distance that promised all the answers and eluded to a happy ending that he wasn’t even sure was possible anymore. Instead of running towards it again, he collapsed to his knees and cradled his head in his hands. His brother was gone. Ed had taken too long and now he was gone. He could hear half forgotten memories, him and Al laughing and playing together on the grassy hill by their house, them splashing around in the river and wrestling each other into the mud. The sound of their mother praising them for their Alchemy, her laughing at their antics. Winry’s voice counting for hide and seek while he fought Al for the best hiding spot.

Soon the sound of light laughter was replaced with strained voices and determined talks about Alchemy and human transmutation. The sounds of crashing waves and animals screeching in the night that had haunted their many nights trapped on the island. Then the screaming started. Ed pressed his hands over his ears and tried to block out his own agonized cries and Al’s terrified scream as the transmutation rebounded on them and took its toll. 

Images began to flash in his mind of that night, and his own voice rang in his ears 

_ “Just give him back! He’s my little brother, he’s all I have left!” _

His head jerked up when he heard a familiar voice and he found himself standing in blank darkness, face to face with Truth.

“We had a deal. Your arm for his soul” 

Ed growled and took a step towards the glowing entity, wanting to do something to make it hurt as much as he was now. Look how well their deal had gone. Now his brother's spirit was gone,  _ again _ , and they had done nothing. Truth had gone back on their end and now Ed was left with the consequences. 

“I thought you were  _ The Truth _ , so why did you go back on your deal? You took his soul back, and I don’t exactly see a flesh arm here. I gave you that so you wouldn’t take him, but you did anyway!”

Truth merely laughed at his accusations and disappeared, its voice speaking from behind him and causing him to spin around, yet he saw nothing but darkness. 

“Our deal is still in effect. His soul is not mine to take. You should know, It’s connected to yours.”

Before Ed could even ask what it had meant, he felt the ground disappear beneath his feet, and suddenly he was falling. It was disorienting to fall through such total darkness, yet still be able to see himself just fine. It was as if he was in a void, where time and space meant nothing. He screamed at first, but when he ran out of breath before he hit the bottom, he didn’t really see much point in continuing. He also had no way of knowing how long he was actually falling for. It could have been a few minutes, or a few hours. 

Eventually though, he finally hit the bottom. He woke with a start only to feel a dull throbbing on the side of his head and he realized he was asleep on the hotel room floor. He pushed himself up with a slight groan and frowned in confusion when he saw a blanket fall from around his shoulders to pool over his legs. He knew for a fact he hadn’t gotten it himself.

As he was looking down, he could also see that his hair was down and untangled. Maybe he had woken sometime in the night and gotten the blanket and brushed out his hair? No. He never did that and why would he start now. It could have been someone else, but he doubted Hawkeye or Winry would come in here right now. Maybe in a few days, but they would give him some space. In fact, it was such an  _ Al _ thing for someone to do… 

He shook his head, roughly cutting off that train of thought. He couldn’t do this right now, or he would just fall apart again and that would do nobody any good. He had to do something, keep himself busy. There had to be a way to get Al back still. 

Ed stiffly pushed himself to his feet, groaning slightly as his body protested, and he dragged himself over to a table and tossed his notebook onto it before collapsing into a chair. He began furiously writing down everything he could remember about the gate, and he hesitated slightly before including what he had seen last night. As he jotted everything down, he half registered the sound of something moving behind him.

He spun around to see the blanket that had remained crumpled on the floor was still where he had left it and nothing looked out of place, so he shrugged it off and went back to read over what he had written so far, but his eyes kept getting drawn to the words Truth had said to him in his dream. They had confirmed his theory that his and Al’s soul’s were connected, and if his little brother’s soul wasn’t Truths to take, what had happened to it? His heart clenched as he imagined all the worst possible outcomes. 

Had it bonded to something else nearby where the armor had rejected it? Was Al now just stuck as an inanimate object somewhere in Central? If his soul hadn’t bonded to something, was he just left to drift forever in some kind of half existence? He took a shuddering breath and managed to calm his thoughts slightly. If Al  _ had _ bonded to something nearby, he would still be able to talk and he would have gotten Ed’s attention. And souls couldn’t just… drift… could they? And what did alchemy consider a soul? All of these huge questions and Ed had no idea where to start looking for the answers.

He quickly grabbed his notebook and re braided his hair as he strode quickly towards the door. He hesitated as he was leaving, a request for Al to follow him on the tip of his tongue. Old habits were hard to break. He bit it off and shut the door with a decisive click. He wouldn’t have to get used to Al’s absence. He was going to get him back. He wasn’t going to give up until he had. 

Al hovered just a few steps behind his brother, still marveling at the feeling of  _ moving _ and  _ feeling _ . He was the right size again, about the same height as Ed or a little taller. When Ed had woken up this morning, Al had been startled as Ed’s head and shoulders had passed through his legs, and the younger boy had felt a little guilty at the thump his older brother’s head made when it hit the floor. Luckily Ed seemed to be fine as he had gotten up and moved around just fine, if a little confused at the blankets that had mysteriously appeared.

Al had gotten careless though as he had moved to stand next to Ed at the table he had hunched over because he had tripped on the blanket and nearly face planted on the hotel room floor, discovering the hard way that he could still touch it. Not wanting to scare his brother, Al had frozen and fought the urge to try and get him to acknowledge his presence. It would do nobody any good if Ed thought he was going insane, and Al didn’t really want his brother to be terrified of him.

Now he could only shadow his brother down the city sidewalks, occasionally sidestepping a person moving in the opposite direction to avoid the unpleasant experience of them walking through him. He never wanted to get used to that. People seemed to sense Ed’s mood and gave him a wide berth, allowing Al to stick close to him and avoid most of them. 

The library towered over them as they approached and Ed suddenly stopped, causing Al nearly walk straight through him. He heard Ed take a deep, shuddering breath before squaring his shoulders and pushing forward.

“Don’t worry Al, I’ll get you back.” Al smiled sadly at Edwards' words before he followed his older brother through the door. Ed was heading back to the room they always used when they visited this particular branch. Al ended up having to pass through the closed door to get into the room, because Ed didn’t even give him a chance to get through before nearly slamming it behind him. He watched helplessly as his brother pulled book after book off the shelves and began piling them onto the table. 

Looking at the titles, they all seemed to be related to Alchemy theories and old myths, as well as some on biological Alchemy. What surprised him the most though was the book on different types of religions. He stared at it in confusion before looking back at Ed, wondering if he was feeling alright. Luckily for him, it was the first book Ed opened when he finally sat down, and Al stood behind him to read over his shoulder.

Things began to make sense when he saw what page Ed had gone straight to. He leaned over a bit more and hesitantly rested his arms on the back of his brother's chair, happy to find that it supported his weight. Ed was reading over what each religion considered to be a person's soul, and how much of that was really a part of who a person was.

Al sighed as Ed wrote down notes and flipped through pages wishing desperately that he could help. Instead he was left to wander around the room, looking at book titles and trying to think of some way to get his brother to notice him without destroying his pride or sanity.

"Hey brother, this one looks interesting."

"Oh we haven't read this yet!"

A book on a top shelf caught his attention and he smirked before saying, "maybe you could try reading this one? Oh wait, we might need to get you a stool so you can actually reach it." 

He was surprised when Ed violently shivered and looked around as he finished speaking. Al almost thought Ed was glaring at him before he saw that his gaze was actually looking somewhere over his right shoulder. Al shuffled to the side a little bit until he could reasonably believe that Ed was looking at him as he heard his older brother mumbling under his breath about stupid people calling him short. 

“Pipsqueak”

“Midget”

“Shrimp”

Eventually a book was slammed shut and Ed stood abruptly. “Someone is calling me short somewhere, and I’m about to call them an ambulance.” He strode towards the door but stopped with his hand hovering over the handle. His tense shoulder sagged and he dropped his arm to his side before turning back around.

“What's the point. They can call me whatever the hell they want, I’m getting you back Al.” Al started in surprise at being addressed, hope bubbling in his chest before it instantly vanished when he remembered Ed talking to him earlier that day already. He gave up on calling his brother short and sat down on the table next to where Ed was working, his eyes drawn to his older brother's notebook. He hummed in thought and absently tried to poke it and see if it was solid or not. His hand hit the page, but the page didn’t move. He tried to move the notebook but his hand passed right through. He reached for another book, this one farther away, and he was surprised to find he could actually slide it. He glanced at Ed to see that he was looking down at the book in front of him, not paying any mind to the books on the table.

He waited for Ed to look up before he moved it again, and this time he couldn’t even touch it. His eyes narrowed as he thought about it, and suddenly a grin spread across his face as an idea began to form. He hovered over Ed’s notebook until his older brother looked away before quietly leafing through the pages until he found what he was looking for. The page he chose was covered with rough notes and theories about how their souls could have been connected during the failed transmutation. The rustling must have drawn Ed’s attention, because he barely found the right spot before his hands passed through the pages. Now Al could only watch as Ed stared at the book in confusion.

“What the hell? I swear this was closed…” He reached out and closed it, glaring at it in suspicion before shrugging and going back to his book. Al waited until he was occupied again before reaching out and opening it to the same page and waiting for Ed to notice. It didn’t take long, and Al couldn’t help but giggle at the utterly baffled look on his face. Ed put his own book down and pointed an accusing finger at the offending notebook.

“No. Stop it. I know I closed you. You do not move on your own, I refuse to believe you suddenly developed that ability.” He closed the book again and placed another book on top, giving it one last glare and a very stern, “Stay,” before going back to his book. Al very carefully moved the book until he could open it once again and set it to his chosen page before sliding it towards Ed’s elbow. He jerked back when Ed suddenly leapt to his feet and grabbed the notebook, ripping out the page it was open to and tossing it onto the floor. 

“Freaky possessed notebooks…” He grumbled before gathering his book and moving to the opposite side of the table. The second Ed couldn’t see the book anymore, Al transmuted the pages back together and waited patiently for his brother to get lost in research again before sliding it onto the table, his chosen page lying there, tauntingly. If he kept this up, maybe Ed would eventually look at what was actually on the page and figure out what was going on instead of just exploding. Even if it took a few hours, at least it was entertaining.

This time Ed froze when he caught sight of the notebook before looking around the room with searching eyes, as if looking for who was messing with him. Not seeing anyone, he sighed before hesitantly pulling the notebook closer and looking at the page it was currently open to. He frowned as he read it before his eyes went wide with realization. He flipped to the newest page where he had written down Truth’s words from his dream last night, and Al grinned when he heard a hesitant, “...Al?”


	4. Chapter 4

Everything seemed to stop as he re-read the words Truth had spoken to him. His and Al’s souls were connected. Al had never really been bonded to the armor, merely using it as a vessel. If he wasn’t bound to the armor, then he had to have been bound to something. Everything that had happened last night and this morning made so much sense if he thought about it. His own body not letting him hurt himself, Winry being surprised when she slapped him, the blanket. He waited with baited breath for something to happen, anything to prove his theory right. There was a slight flash of light and the crackle of alchemy came from the floor on the other side of the table.

Ed scrambled to his feet and stumbled around the table, nearly tripping on the surrounding chairs, until he could finally see something achingly familiar sitting innocently on the ground. He dropped to his knees and picked up the misshapen wooden figure, cradling it in his hands like it was made of glass. It was exactly like the one he had made to show his mother all those years ago.

It had meant a lot before. His mother’s love, his determination to learn alchemy to make her proud, and the joy he felt when he had first made it. Now it meant so much more. It meant that he wasn’t alone. He hadn’t failed his little brother, not yet. He felt a comforting warmth across his shoulders and finally felt the tears of relief fall, realizing that Al was here and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

He let himself have a moment to process before taking a deep breath and putting the model on the table and fixing the floor so it was less obvious that a portion of it was now thinner than before. Once that was taken care of, he stood and brushed himself off, a small smile on his face. 

“Well, we should probably clean up a bit in here then. I made a bit of a mess.” He grabbed a pile of books and headed towards the shelves, slotting the books back in their places and thinking about what he had just figured out. He heard books moving around behind him and smiled again. How could he ever think that Al would leave him to deal with this mess on his own.

He was about to put one of the last books in his pile away when he suddenly realized something Well… Multiple things.

“That was you! You were the one calling me short earlier!” 

Books clattered to the ground behind him and he spun around to see about 5 books scattered across the floor at the entrance to a different asile. He glared in the general direction of his brother halfheartedly, but he wasn’t done yet.

“And you made Winry slap me! What the heck!”

He could have sworn he heard Al’s laughter faintly and he couldn’t bring himself to remain angry. He huffed indignantly before grabbing the last of the books from the table and putting them away, mumbling under his breath, “You’re lucky you’re my brother.” 

He studied the books in his arms thoughtfully for a few seconds before shaking his head and putting them away. There was no way he was going to be able to get any real research done now. Instead he pulled out two chairs from the table he had been working at and set out some paper between them, placing his pen on top. 

“So. You’ve been stuck like this since the armor kicked you out, right?”

Nothing moved for a second, but then Ed noticed a book slide off the shelf out of the corner of his eye. He was distracted by the movement for a second and took his attention off the paper, only to hear frantic scribbling the second he looked away. He looked back at the paper in time to see the pen go skidding across the table as it suddenly dropped mid-word.

“Can’t write if you’re L-O… Looking? You can’t write if I’m looking?” He looked down at the table after he said that, listening intently and smiling slightly when he once again heard the tell tale scratching of a pen on paper.

They continued like this for a long time, Ed asking questions or suggesting theories before looking down at the table until he heard the tap of a pen being put down indicating Al was finished writing his response.

“So you can only move things when nobody’s looking, you can ‘possess’ people,” Ed wrinkled his nose slightly as he said it, both intrigued and disturbed by the idea, before continuing, “and you can still use alchemy.” He sighed and dropped his head onto his crossed arms, thinking over the situation. It just didn’t make sense! Not that he was complaining, but he had been sure ghosts didn’t exist. From everything he knew, it wasn’t possible for someone's soul to survive without a tether. The other armor bound souls, Barry and the Slicer, had died when their seals were destroyed. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked around in surprise only to see nobody new in the room. The warm pressure was still there and his hand flew up to his shoulder in shock only to stop before it touched his shoulder. His automail hand couldn’t feel heat, but he was well aware of what a hand felt like. 

It only lasted a few seconds before the warmth faded and his automail fell to rest on his own shoulder, the chill of the metal replacing the warmth that had clung to him from his brother’s touch. 

He realized something then and quickly got to his feet, gathering the papers together and closing them in his notebook. “We’ve gotta tell Winry. She’s still at the hotel.” He hurried out of the room after he grabbed the wooden figure from the table and put it in his pocket, holding the door open slightly longer than necessary. Maybe he was imagining things, but he thought he felt a slight brush of warmth walk past him out the door before following down the stairs. He lost track of it when he entered the crowd, but he trusted Al to be able to navigate his way back to the hotel and he didn’t think it would be a good idea for people to think he was crazy.

The atmosphere inside the hotel was a stark contrast to how he had been feeling for the past hour or so, serving as a reminder that he was the only one to know the good news. He took a deep breath as he stood at the base of the stairs, not sure if Al was still there with him or still trying to make his way back. A slight tap on his shoulder eased his worry and he moved up the stairs, thinking over how he was going to tell Winry what was happening without her thinking he was going insane.

* * *

“You’re insane.” 

Al was watching from the corner of the room as Ed spread out the papers from the library on the table in front of the couch Winry was currently sitting on, trying to explain the situation.

“I’m not! Look, this is his handwriting, and it’s all in response to questions I was asking him.” Ed then reached into his pocket and set the wooden figure on the table next to it, gesturing at it before he continued, “Look, if he’s not still here, then how did this just appear under the table I was working at in the library? It’s exactly like the one I made for my mom. Nobody else has ever seen it, and I definitely didn’t make this one.”

Winry frowned at that and picked it up to take a closer look at it, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Al couldn’t just stand there and watch anymore, and he moved to kneel next to her, wanting desperately to be able to talk to her, tell her he was alright. She sniffled a few times before wiping the tears from her eyes and whispering, “Alright. Al, if you’re really here, prove it.”

Al glanced over to see Ed pulling out his pen and leaving it sitting on top of a blank sheet of paper. Al shuffled over to it but hesitated slightly as he tried to think of what to write. A grin spread across his face as he started writing. He noticed Winry tense when the scratch of pen on paper started, but the pen remained solid the whole time, so she didn’t look up. When he was done, he set the pen and slid the paper towards her.

She glanced up to stare at it with wide eyes before picking it up and reading it over quickly. She seemed to read it a few times before a relieved smile broke across her face and she started laughing. Al watched with a warm smile, happy to see the heavy grief finally lift from her shoulders. His smile turned mischievous when Ed snatched the paper from her hand and his older brother read the paper out loud.

“ _ I couldn’t leave you guys! And now that I can have these abilities, I might finally get Brother to drink his milk?!  _ What! No! You can’t abuse your new-found power like that! I won’t drink it, it’s disgusting.” His angry frown held no heat to it though, and Al could tell that he was just happy that Winry believed them now.

It took a few minutes for Winry to get her laughter under control, but after she finally managed the atmosphere in the room was considerably lighter. Al sat on the couch next to Ed, leaning back until he could trick himself into thinking Ed’s arm was around his shoulders instead of just resting across the back of the couch. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to touch him now, considering he couldn’t feel any warmth from the arm behind him or Ed sitting right next him. He could pretend though.

“So if Al can possess people, can he possess objects as well, like his old armor? Then you guys could pretend that nothing happened.” Al shivered violently and shrunk into himself slightly at the thought of being trapped in that armor again. While it had allowed him to be seen and heard, he still felt so much more connected in this form. At least now he could  _ sometimes _ rest a hand on his brother's shoulder and actually feel his warmth. He could smell too! He had almost forgotten what fresh air smelled like, or flowers.

He didn’t even register the sudden warmth next to him, but he did hear Ed’s surprised breath and the arm that finally  _ did _ rest on his shoulders. He tensed at first in surprise before relaxing and letting himself be pulled into his older brother's side. “No. That armor is gonna become scrap metal if I have any say over it. Which I should, seeing as it was ours to begin with.” Al wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the armor being destroyed. I had been his body for so many years, and in a way it still felt like it, but it also represented so much pain… 

He shook his head finally, and Ed must have felt the movement because he sighed heavily before speaking again.

“Fine. It will stay together until… 2 years after you get your body back, then we’ll decide what to do with it.” Al nodded in agreement, knowing that was the only way for him to communicate unless he stood and tried writing again, and he definitely didn’t want to leave his brother's side right now. He looked across the table to see Winry on the other couch staring at them with wide eyes before realizing how weird this must look to her. 

He laughed slightly at the mental picture but did nothing to change it, content to be able to actually feel his brother's arm over his shoulder and his warmth at his side. Winry just shook her head with a sad smile before she seemed to have an idea.

“We could get you something else to use. You can’t touch people most of the time, right? So if you had something to possess…” As she spoke, Al was disappointed to realize that Ed’s warmth was fading. Not wanting to feel the chill as Ed passed through him, Al reluctantly moved out from under his brother's arm, maintaining his grip on his hand until he couldn’t anymore and instantly mourning the loss. Ed had frowned as Al moved away but then he seemed to understand. Determination shone in his eyes before he abruptly stood and began walking towards the door. 

Al moved to follow his brother but stopped when Ed turned and smiled briefly in his direction and said, “Wait here with Winry, Al. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” before shutting the door. Al was tempted to follow him anyway, his brother would have no way of knowing after all, but he didn’t really want to leave Winry in here alone.

“...Al? You are still here, right?” She made his decision for him and he moved to sit on the couch across from her and waited for her to realize he couldn’t do anything with her looking around. Al chuckled under his breath when she seemed to realize and hastily looked down at her lap, laughing at herself and shaking her head.

He reached forward and took a mostly blank sheet of paper and began writing on it. They ended discussing what they should do with the information they had. They agreed that they had to tell Hawkeye, and that way if she had told anyone else like Mustang what had happened she could let them know that Al was ok. 

They were interrupted by the door swinging open and Ed shuffling in carrying a decent sized bag. He looked a little hesitant as he entered, but he strode towards the couch, correctly guessing where Al was based on the paper on the table and sitting down next to him. Al watched curiously as Ed fiddled with the bag in his lap and looked between it and Winry who was sitting on the couch in front of them.

“Winry, you can’t laugh.”

Once she nodded her consent, Ed reached into the bag and pulled out something very surprising. It was a fluffy, light brown teddy bear with a soft dark nose and shiny glass eyes. Al was slightly confused at first before he fully realized what his brother was thinking. 

“I know you Al. I know you missed being able to hug people without having to worry about hurting them, and now you can’t even interact with people most of the time. IF you  _ can _ possess objects… well.. You wouldn’t have to worry about hurting anyone…” Ed was resolutely staring at the bear he now held in his lap, not looking up at Winry as he spoke.

Al reached for the bear, trying to recreate the feeling he got when he possessed a person, and he was surprised to find it was actually fairly easy. He went from feeling the fabric of the couch to feeling two hands wrapped around his torso, one warm and the other cold metal, and he found himself looking into his brother's sad golden eyes.

It took a bit of concentration, but he managed to move the bear's arm and give Ed a small wave only for his older brother to jerk violently in surprise and nearly throw him across the room.

“Gah! Give me some warning next time before you give me a heart attack!”

Winry was practically dying on the other couch and soon enough Ed was joining her, hugging the bear tightly. If Al could smile in this form, he would be grinning widely. He could feel warmth. He could finally hug his brother again.


End file.
